Koala Brothers

The Koala Brothers, I assume that they are Koalas that are brothers? Let's crack this one open and see!

First off, the theme song is awesome. Of course, it is Australian. I love the ol' didgeridoo. 

The episode starts with George, who is tortoise postman. His whole life revolves around shoving envelopes in mail boxes. 

I am going to go out on a limb and say he is slow.

George stops to take a rest. It looks like he is drinking coffee in the outback. Why would you do that? It is hot. Hot and hot don't work, George.

A platypus named Alice, who rides on a scooter approaches George. She asks is she can have her mail? But, being the good mail tortoise he is, explains that he like to only deliver to mailboxes and not when you ask him. But he will cave in this one time. 

I ship them.

With the distraction of pretty female platypus, George forgot to put the lid tightly on his thermos. Oh no, the mail is getting all soggy.

Meanwhile with the main characters, Frank and Buster, they're washing down the homestead. They even have their friend Ned the wombat helping. Buster gently takes the young Ned under the sheets they were folding. While making sweet inter-species love, they manage to get foot prints all over the sheet. It must washed again. 

Frank knows what he is witnessing. 

Our old friend George arrives with the Koala Brothers' mail. He reaches in his magical sack of mail goodness and discovers all the mail is drenched. He then tried to lie about it but, failed.

The brothers come up with the scheme to post the mail up with their love sheet to dry. They hand over the mail to Ned and offer George some tea. 

Meanwhile, Frank and Ned begin to peg the mail on the line.  

The group sit on the porch waiting for the mail to dry. All the while with George groaning about being a dummy.

Time to make tortoise soup.

The mail eventually dries. But, oops there is a problem. The ink on the letters is all smeared and unreadable. Some weird creature named Mitzi points out that a postcard is from some penguin named Penny that lives in the South Pole. Apparently, she sends a postcard to the brothers every week. It must be their's.

Wikied it, she's a Pussom. 

In which an Australian Possum is so much cuter then an American Opossum

They start to search for clue on the other pieces of formally soaked mail. A package falls off the line that is both bouncy and squishy. Frank insists he knows who's it is. But he doesn't tell us.

Meanwhile, over at the ye ol' watering hole a crocodile name Archie and kangaroo named Josie are waiting to play tennis. (Wait, shouldn't they be playing hunter and the hunted?) They are missing their ball. 

George and the brothers arrive, Archie runs up and nearly tackles the poor turtle for his ball, which he is expecting in the mail. 

(And to note he has the same voice as my beloved Edward, The Blue Engine. My love Edward, haunts me in this blog also. *Yes, I do know he the same actor does other voices on this show. But this is the Edward voice Damn it.*)

Holy shit, if a crocodile ran towards me, I would at least try to run.

In town, the brothers and George ponder who a little box belongs to? Frank starts to shake the box and a ringing sound come out of it. 

Just then a echidna named Sammy pops out of his shop to grab some food out of the back of his truck. The trio decide to ask him. 

While popping into his store to ask Sammy if the box is his, they scare the shit out him. Turns out his door bell is broken.

He should try out for The Wiggles. He is making fruit salad.

George hands over the package and proudly declares he saved the day. 

They now only have one letter left. They are puzzled since this one is clueless. The Koala Brothers decide that George will have to break the law and open the letter in front of the whole town.

To George, going to jail.

The town gathers for the big event. George hesitatingly opens the letter. And it looks like it is for him. George has won a major award for "Best Postman In The Outback". 

George makes a speech on how won't spill tea anymore on the mail and accepts his award.

I feel totally validated.

So, George learns that everyone makes mistakes and to tighten that thermos. 

This show was actually pretty enjoyable. I loved the stop motion and the characters themselves where pretty enjoyable. I would give this show, 5 Bindi Irwins.

Oswald The Octopus

I admit I don't have cable so, I am missing out on weird shows like this daily. But hey, that's what the internet is for. This week we dive into the world of Oswald The Octopus. Hell, he has a wiener dog that looks like hot dog, this has to be good.

Look at me kids, slowly drying up on land.

Mr. Oswald, is going camping. You know, because Octopuses love to camp. He and his dog, Mr. Weenie gather their supplies. And you can't do that without singing! So, Oswald breaks out into a tune about the supplies he'll need and the joys of being bit by bugs and sleeping on hard rocks.

After his little ditty, he picks up a blanket and hardly tries to stuff it into his backpack before giving up. Oswald puzzled about what to do asks the dog. (And I thought I was bad talking to my cat.) Mr. Weenie barks and somehow Oswald translates this as tie it the dog.

Hot Dog abuse!

After abusing his weenie, Oswald marches out the door to Henry's. And who is Henry? Well he just happens to a penguin with a worrying problem. He sees one cloud and assumes it is going to rain. 

Or maybe he just hates camping?

Oswald calls bullshit on Henry's weather report. He insists that they are going to have fun pitching a tent and topping it off with marshmallows. This turns around Henry's shitty attitude. It turns out you can buy a penguin's attention with marshmallows.

Oswald and Mr.Weenie march out of the apartment building, waiting for Henry to pack. And holy fruit salad, a talking walking flower cartwheels across their path. 

I'll have whatever the show's creator was on.

I guess this flower is going camping too? (Isn't she afraid of being ate by deer?)

Henry emerges from his apartment over packed. He is still worried it is going to rain. Henry may be right, he has two clouds in the sky now.

The campers march to the park where they are going to make camp.

I call it a "Parade Of What The Fuck?"

It gets weirder as they enter the park. There is snow man who is not melting, a gingerbread man, and a breeding rabbit family.

Henry walks about 10 feet and calls it good. He wants to be close to the gate in case it rains. That way he can waddle home. Oswald protests that they need to camp where it is not noisy. (You're in a public park in the city!) The quartet heads further in. 

Daisy, the flower wants to camp on a hill. Of course, Henry thinks this is the perfect place to get rained on. 

Half way up the hill, Henry sees a turtle and asks him, "If he thinks it is going to rain?" A third cloud appears and the turtle sinks in his shell.

Or maybe he hiding because, he is the most normal thing I've seen so far.

Daisy and Oswald, being to pitch a tent. They invite Henry to join. You know, to make it a threesome. Henry declines the offer and unpacks his bag. 

Low and behold, a cloud moves over and drops rain. Henry is the one, who is all I told you so. He picks up his gear and one by one they blow away from him. So, they decide to use the friggin' tent as a big umbrella. They hurry home.

Okay, whatever!

While marching home, a giant car shoe splashes them with water. 

They make it to their apartment, all looking so sad because their camping trip was a disaster. Oswald suggest they do the cliche' camp in the living room thing. 

They begin to eat their mashmallows and tell ghost stories about lawnmowers but, that is vetoed out. Oswald the ass kissing octopus, then throws out campfire songs. He sings a song recapping this whole crappy story while waving his arms.

Wait until the light go off.

Meanwhile outside the their little bubble, the rain stops. Oswald questions, if they should go back to the park. No one wants to go, their all ready for some eight legged loving. Inside the tent they go.

You'll never walk the same

So, Oswald is weird. No where as bad as Happy World though. I would just like to know what you have to be on to think of an Octopus, a literal wiener dog, a flower, and penguin going camping? So in closing, I'll give 5 out of 8 octopus leg.

Happy World

First post on this blog and I go creepy. I introduce you to 'Happy World'. 

Oscar Mike Golf!

The theme song seems to go on and on describing doing mundane things and telling us it is happy world. (Is it? Because, I am only thirty seconds in and these costumed trolls are scaring the shit out of me! )

Burn my eyes, please!

After 2 minutes and 30 seconds of theme song, we finally get into the show. Our acid victim troll friend, tells us today's show is about dreams. (Could be this is a dream?) He tells us about closing our eyes and traveling to a far away land that is scwary. (His words) The troll goes on to explain that it is all in our head. (He probably duggars people while they sleep.)

Acid victim troll, who we do not have a name for yet, wants an explanation on dreams. He heads off to see his friend, Blue for answers. Or at least, I think that is what he says. He has a very bad lisp.

I am not sitting on his lap.

We are passed off to Blue, who looks like every other drunken hillbilly I've seen but, in puppet form. He is going to explain dreams to us. Of course, he has to be all mystical on us. And then suddenly, a plush fish appears on screen dangling from an off screen hand. 

Somebody wanted to show off their carnival prize.

I was too distracted by the floating fish to listen to Blue explain about weird and scary dreams. And also some mumbling about cellry. (Not a typo, that is how they say, celery.)

Sorry Blue.

After some talking about dreams and whatever else, he sends us to Happy and Giggles to see some dream action. We see Acid victim troll and a lady in bed. (So, I guess his name is Happy. What is happy about seeing him?)

The two creepers turn off the light and go to bed. We hear, "Oh Happy!" shouted in the dark. (Bow chicka bow wow.) Damn, no creepy troll sex, she just wants a dream journal. The joke is on them, neither of them can write. They deciede to tell each other their drweams. (His baby talk is driving me up the wall!)

Look at her nasty feet!

A fooking red ball of something, begins to speak to them telling them to shut up. Happy and Giggles switch off the light again. And I am hearing a lot moaning from Giggles. 

After seconds of darkness and troll moaning, Giggles whines about not being able to sleep. The red ball thing and Happy tell her to think of cellry to fall asleep, read a book, do anything because they want to sleep. To note, the red ball thing seems pretty fed up with living with them.

Happy goes off to get his whiny lady a book. Only to discover she can't read. (Ugh!) She demands that Happy get her a picture book. Happy retrieves the book and hands it over, somehow not beating her in the face with it. Giggles bitches about the book being too scary. She then makes Happy get one about butterflies. (I want to throat punch her. Good luck, Happy.) Not happy with receiving the book she tacks on a box of cellry. (I can't do this!) 

After fetching a box of cellry for Giggles, Happy lectures her on eating cellry before bed. (Why the hell, did you get her a big ass box of celery in the first place? And when is this boring sketch going to end?) 

The lights go out again and we hear that suspicious moaning. The clock begins to tick through the night.

Can we just have a show about this?

After a moment of clock ticking, black screens, and Blue sleeping, we have a black screen of screaming. Turns out Happy scared Giggles. And the red ball thing has something to say about it. His comment seems to suggest that if he wasn't was made of rubber he'd would have been killed. The verdict is, Happy had a nightmare. (He must have seen his face.) Nope, it turns out he was dreaming about flying sea creatures.

Happy gives us a montage of flying sea creatures and some creepy music with it to boot.

Watch out for those sea frogs, Happy!

We tune back in to the um, real world, where Happy starts to interview the red ball thing and Giggles about their dreams. The red ball thing is all like, screw you, I'm a ball. Giggles didn't dream either. She says something about butterflies, but honestly, I can't understand her. I do know that she did in fact, eat all the cellry. 

Happy tells Giggles she is probably going to dream about cellry. And some how we cut to Blue who states he does. Giggles insists she is going to dream about butterflies. (All right, Mariah Carey.)

The red ball thing, the only one with a brain, tells them, "Shut off the light. And let a fricking ball rest!"

Back to the clock ticking... (I feel like this is a timer for when Jane Slicker looses it.)

While waiting for these losers to dream, Blue comes back to tell us we can make ourselves dream of a certain thing. Like cellry! But other times, it can be unexpected things. Like cellry! 

Please tell me how to dream about a young Michael Nesmith.

Back to the blackness and moaning, man these trolls make sex noises a lot. Giggles starts screaming. I am guessing Happy hit the wrong hole. Oh no, she was having a nightmare too. And she dreamed about cellry. (This could have been a drinking game.) 

We flash into her dream. Giggles is walking through the woods, when a stationary piece of giant cellry looks at her angrily. It then begins to hop after her. Finally, it falls on her and looks like it is cellry raping her. WTF! (I would have taken a screen shot but, it was way too pixelated. It censored itself.) 

I would pay that cellry to beat her in the head.

Happy and Giggles decide to blame their shitty dreaming on Blue. It is all his fault that they sucks. Hell, it is probably his fault that this show sucks also. 

Blue may have felt the blame flames because, he was stuttering to explain himself. Finally he blurts out REM (not the band) is when most dreams happen. Happy and Giggles, give a disappointed look. This makes Blue spurt out more crap about dreaming.

The red ball thing just wants this all to end, so he can sleep and stop listening to these crazies. 

Best and most sane one of the bunch.

Happy and Giggles decide to use reverse phycology on their dreams. The red ball thing is fed up and suggest they just roll with it. 

It goes black and we hear snoring. We have a few second of peace as we stare at a red ball and three blue balls for a minute or two. I am assuming this a break from the annoyance of our main characters.

The least annoying part of this show.

Back to Blue, he acts as if he has unraveled the universe with his blabbing about dreams. Blue then cuts it short because, he has to wake up the cellry. (I swear, next time I see a stick of celery, I am going to beat the crap out of it.)

The episode ends with Happy explaining he is still dumb when it comes to dreams or drweams. 

I am so glad I don't ever have to see you again.

I am so happy I do not do weekly reviews on this show. It almost killed me. First off it is creepy. The puppets all look like they were dumped in acid. It was as boring as watching your grandma knit. Oh, and on the closing credits, it turns out if I would have listened better it states that Giggles is Happy's sister. I guess that Duggar joke fit. So, Happy World gets a 1 out of 5 creepy trolls.

If you want to torture yourself or use this as cruel and unusual punishment, you can watch this episode on Youtube. Just remember I warned you.